This break has been going by so fast. Christmas break is always a nice time with family and friends. It certainly is nice to see how much my cousins have grown since the years before. Especially my cousin Nathan. He’s changed so much. His voice is so deep and he lost some weight. The ladies all did a very good job at cooking. The dishes were delicious even when I didn’t have much of an appetite.The main dish was the prime rib. Very delicious and tender, only thing missing was horse radish, sigh. Until next time!
So currently I’m back home in the Bay Area. I just want to say that Riverside is getting alot better as time is going. I’ve been getting to know some real amazing people and everything is just getting more enjoyable. I’ve also been able to reconnect and spend alot more time with my grandparents which we both really enjoy. Finals wasn’t bad at all. I actually really enjoyed it. Towards the end of the quarter I was actually getting really lazy but then when finals came I stepped it up and I actually aced my finals!! It felt amazing. Now that I’m back home I also realized that going away for school also makes me appreciate alot of things just because I’ve been away from it for so long. College is actually going really well for me. Sometimes I even miss it when I’m away for a couple days.
Damn I really took the bay area for granted. I realized that even I told myself not to take it for granted while I was there I still find myself missing home. Maybe I didn’t take it for granted but still I miss the bay area alot. It’s a very special place and it’s my home. I realized that it’s good to be away from home because without this experience I really would have never knew how special of a place the bay area was. Even when exploring out of the country I would miss home but in college it sucks. People say they have alot more freedom here but for me it’s totally different. Back at home everyone trusted me and I could do whatever I wanted. In college I am overwatched by RAs and other officials. This makes me really want to drop out because it makes me realize that school is also as oppressive. I feel like our whole lives has lead us to believe that in order to live a successful life we need to conform and work for companies we don’t want to, and do jobs we don’t enjoy. But in all honesty if you work towards something and if you work hard enough money will still come. There are ways to make livings off of passions. I believe that that idea is more successful than any corporate job out there. I want to pursue my interest in photography. I want to make that my living, I don’t want to be a conformist instead I want to live off of my passion and do something I really enjoy.
Recently I’ve been obsessed with my work and creative outlet. Right now it is 3:09 am and I can not fall asleep no matter how hard I try. It seems like this surge of motivation is part of a college thing. It’s almost as if there’s nothing else to do but fulfill dreams and complete my identity.
I’ve been noticing how powerful social media is in this generation. I want to put myself out there and learn to market my talent and hardwork. I began by brainstorming ideas late at night especially around this time. I want to create a series of photos called the “College” series. Before I came to college I had so many ideas that proved to be only myths. I want to represent college through my eyes with this series. Here is my first piece.
Weekends here are getting more and more fun. Getting closer to everyone in the hall has made everything seem so much homier. There’s actually a lot of things to do here and instead of feeling gloomy and reminiscent it’s actually a lot more fun to explore and learn new things. Especially since studying takes such a toll on me. Going out and exploring is a nice get away and it is actually what I came down here to do. Also getting back in touch with my creative side (photography) has reopened the world I used to dream of living. I’ve been so preoccupied that taking pictures has become a nuisance instead of a fun hobby. I need to change that thought process and make it more of an everyday habit. Photography is essentially what I love doing and it also may be what I may be doing for the rest of my life.
Math at 8-9:30. Psych from 5-6:30. Typical scenery to and from class.I actually really enjoy class. Ever since class started the weeks have been going by so much faster. Also i feel so much more productive although i sleep so much more. I think I’ve averaged about 3-5 hour naps a day. I’m still so excited to go back to the bay area. Sometimes I don’t even want to do anything but stay in bed and sleep.
It was time again to take a break from campus.I know breaks from campus happen very often for me but i just can’t take being in my dorm for too long. It’s just too boring and depressing. Makes me miss home also. I’ve been missing my dogs the most. But it’s been getting better and better. Especially since class started. I’ve been preoccupied with bunch of school work. I’m actually having fun now.
It’s been officially a week of college now and its been going by so slow. I’ve been getting super homesick sometimes out of no where. School is fun though. Professors are extremely chill and the workload although its more than high school, seems much easier.
People here are pretty chill, most of them will talk back and make an effort to become friends. Roommates are chill too. I can’t imagine there to be much drama the upcoming year with any of them. The gym sucks though, I miss 24. Although 24 would get super packed sometimes, this gym is gets even more packed. We have abut 10 benches and they still get packed. It’s also very small and condensed. There definitely are alot more big guys here too.
Really looking forward to go back home.
College is coming up in 3 weeks and I am finally starting to feel it. I understand that when I leave, home will never be home again. Coming back will never be the same and to think of that partially saddens me. I feel an awful amount of trepidation whenever moving comes into mind. I am anxious and feel uneasy but at the same time I know that I am ready to move and to learn and to experience so much more that is out there. The anticipation is killing me because I honestly have no idea what lies ahead. I really can not think of leaving sometimes and leaving behind my family. Especially my uncle, he really spent the most time with me in my whole life and has always been there for me. He always is more of a parent to me than anyone else in the world. Leaving him will be the hardest. In the end I know I will be okay though. I always end up okay and I know college will have so much in store for me. I will have the time of my life and I will become a better version of myself within the next upcoming years. Until next time.
“When one door closes another one opens”